Never Give Up

Salam and Hi !

Now it's winter here. Winter's cold but great, Alhamdulillah. Orang jakun sangat, masih suka lagi keluarkan asap dari mulut. Ha ha. Tapi bila dah sejuk melampau lampau, memang tak tau nak cakap apa.. Just sanggup kurung diri dalam selimut + electric blanket je. Kurung diri dalam selimut, surf internet, makan. Hm. Kalau ingat diet tu boleh lah tahan diri tak makan. Tapi kalau dah tension sangat+sejuk sangat+lapar sangat+mulut gatal sangat nak makan, nak kisah apa. Diet boleh buat esok-esok. lol.

Berjuang Sendiri.

Yeah, sorang je muslim kat sini, memang rasa lonely kan. Even ada kawan baik macam mana pun, tapi still no one reminds me to shalat, reminds me to recite qur'an, shaum, semua tu. Sorang-sorang kena sentiasa cari makanan halal, sorang-sorang kena jaga batasan dengan lelaki, semuaa kena sendiri buat. Bukan tak boleh buat semua tu tanpa ajakan orang. Tapii faham tak rasa kesunyian tu, sebab kena buat semua tu sorang-sorang? Hm. Dulu punya lah semangat nak challenge diri sendiri hidup dalam situasi macam ni, tapi bila dah dihadapkan dengan realita, lembik pulak? 

Ok, rupanya I'm not as tough as I thought. Ha ha. I'll always remember not to give up. This life and jihad is worth fighting for. This challenges make me stronger, so why should I give up?

Lagipun sekarang dah dapat usrah. Online. With another akhawat Indonesia. So, it helps a lot kan. Alhamdulillah :)

Kebosanan

Salam and Hi everyone! (bajet macam ramai sangat orang baca kan)

Dah dua bulan lebih dah, duduk dekat China ni. Belajar bahasa mandarin yang susah sangat-sangat, sampai kadang nak fed up tapi mana boleh give up kan. This world gives no second chance to anyone who gives up.

So sekarang nak mengeluh je lah kat sini. lol.

Mandarin susah. Mana tak susahnya, hanzi (mandarin character) ada ribuan, nak kena ingat satu-satu. Cara tulis macam mana, first stroke, second stroke, sampai last stroke semua kena betul. Nak cakap kena ingat tones. Every words ada tones, salah tones beza makna. Belum lagi pinyin (chinese alphabet) yang tak sama macam english/indonesia/melayu. zh, ch, z, c, q, j, masih sering tersalah baca. 

Tapi, even mandarin susah macam mana pun, rasa macam boring. Entah, it's just that language isn't my passion lah kan. I love things like add maths, accounting, physics, chemistry, and friends. So next year memang confirm takleh amek mandarin as my major. Huhu. Mungkin ambil accounting, atau business? Hmm keputusan belum diambil lagi. Tengah dilemma.

On December we'll have final sem exam. Harapnye boleh jadi the first in class (even macam impossible), so boleh dapat duit haha. Yeah, sesiapa yang dapat 1st rank akan dapat duit. Dalam RM500 kot, banyak jugak lah kan. 

Next year pulak I have to take HSK test (chinese TOEFL) as a requirement to take undergraduate program in china. 

Seboring apapun mandarin, I have to strive hard. Hm. 

Shaoguan University

Assalamualaikum.
Alhamdulillah, dah sebulan dah duduk dekat china ni.

Things are great.

Culture shocks memang  banyak, tapi rupanya takdelah stress sangat macam first time kat malaysia dulu.

Shaoguan city best, Shaoguan University best, kawan-kawan setanah air best, kawan-kawan lokal best, lecturers best, makanan sedap-sedap.

Mandarin susah. Sampai ada kawan cakap, "rasa macam dah tak sanggup nak catch up segala benda ni. Kalau satu semester ni tak boleh lagi nak catch up, baik aku balik indonesia, taknak sambung study kat sini". Haa memang pun, memang susah. terkadang dah nak fed up. Tulisan hanzi lah, alphabet tak sama lah, tones lah, memang buat orang stress. Dah la lecturers tak reti cakap BI, so dia explain lectures in mandarin jugak, macam mana nak faham kann. Tapi tapi mana boleh nak stop perjuangan ini. Nak pergi china dah lah payah, tak kan tetiba balik indo pulakk. I hope all of us will survive.

***

Di sini kalau jalan pergi mana-mana selalu jadi point of attraction. Sebab pakai tudung (kat sini tak pernah jumpa orang pakai tudung, even moslem pon mostly tak pakai). Kalau jalan pergi mana-mana, semua orang pandang pelik. Macam nampak zombie pun ada. Ha ha. 

Ada satu hari tu, tengah jalan nak balik dorm, tetiba ada laki-laki datang dan tanya. "Why you wear this (tudung)?"

Terkejut. Dah la tak kenal, pastu tetiba tanya soalan macam tu kat tengah-tengah jalan.

I ansewered it simply: "Because I'm a moslemah".

Sebenarnya ada banyak lagi cerita, tapi.. malas nak type and nak fikir BM dia apa lol. BM dah berkarat, BI pun rasanya dah semakin teruk -,-

Finally,

Passport and Visa dah settle, ticket dah booked,

Saturday, 8th September 2012

Jakarta - Guangzhou

8.35 AM

Bismillah..

Shaoguan University,

1st year: Prep Mandarin,

2nd year: Degree - Business/ Management.

Cuak, Sedih, Excited, semua jadi satu. Hm. Culture shock dia mesti dahsyat gila kalau nak compare dengan malaysia dulu. 

Eid Mubarak before.

I'm currently waiting for 8th September. 

I don't know the result yet but I'm absolutely sure that Allah gives me the best, I did my ikhtiar and now is the time to tawakkal

am I that indecisive ?

BI dah berterabuh, ni tengah usaha nak naikkan balik la. I know, my english's suck lol. 

am I that indecisive, or is it normal for a person to change her thought continuously?  I'm confuse almost in every single thing in my life. and now it's becoming terrible because I need to decide something big for my life. and of course I'm indecisive haha. 

at first I was thinking like, maybe maths or accounting is the best for me. they seems like a game for me, not a serious thing or full of pressure things like what people normally think. but when I thought of it once again, I think they're boring haha. (ok very labil). no, I mean, why the hell in this earth I should take a really non-living thing as a major? I mean, maths n account are just about number. (haha narrow minded lah kan). maybe studying something correlate with people is better, maybe. 

 my parents said that I'm very rebel (lol gila). I like to argue people's opinion (that's what they say lah, but I think it's quite true haha). So they suggest me to take law. I was interested at first, because yeah, my parents is true. Debating is really my talent, even in debate club I couldn't speak up and that was very loser of me, but I love to debate haha. But then again, when I saw the syllabus, studying about rules, law, and whatsoever, oh my god that's what I really hate! I hate to memorize what case, where, when, how, even the law itself. Pancasila pun aku tak suka nak hafal ok! Then I give up lol. 

then I think like, psychology is kind of good and great to be studied. to know and understand people's behavior is just great, right? that's what I think la. Then, to be able to cheer someone's up when he/she's down is awesome for me. but when I saw the syllabus, it's boring for me lol. Ok, I don't know why, but it just seems so boring. then friends of mine also suggest me not to take psychology. I don't know why, maybe the career prospect isn't too good. 

And the last thing in my head for now is to take business major, because as a first child of my lovely dad, it's like a big responsibility for me to take over his business right? And my father's is related with finance management. It seems cool for me. Yeah, of course I know a little about this field lah, as my father's job is a finance counselor. But I still don't know whether I'll like it or not hahaha. 

 Yeah, I'm still thinking about everything lalala. It's still possible for me to take maths, account, law, psychology, or business. Maybe some day I'll come out with my own decision, I do hope. 

p/s: it's not about what course to take only, but also where to study, which university, and other things. lol.