Let's Embrace Our Life!

Hye!

The last time I wrote something here was on early 2014 and I still boleh lagi cakap Malay sikit-sikit time tu. I was still complaining and regretting things, especially my decision to further study to SMIH.

Now it's February 2017.

My Malay semakin teruk sebab dah lama tak practice dan dah lama tak tengok drama Melayu haha.

But things have been better, I guess. I've moved on. I let go.

I've learned a lot of things for the past three years. I know I still have a lot of issues and problems here in my life: quarter life crisis, relationship, indesicive me needs to make a lot of important decisions, organizations, school, family, etc. It's complicated, really. But I'm not gonna give up anyway. Life is beautiful in its own way.

So, yeah! Let's embrace our life!

Smih.

The greatest mistake Ive done so far in my life. 

But hey at least I learned to survive.
I learned to move on. 

I learned to lower down my expectations, so that I wont be hurt too much anymore. 

I learned a lot, so thats fine. I guess. I hope. 

Assalamualaikum

Alhamdulillah dan nak dekat final exam di sini, dan semua masalah macam terlerai sikit-sikit. At least hati dah boleh menerima dan move on, semangat dah mula berkobar. Semoga kekal abadi je lah. Haha.

Sebab bukan boleh buat apa pun dengan our past, dan mungkin inilah salah satu masa untuk percayakan Qadha' Qadar Allah. Dia tahu yang terbaik untuk hambaNya yang lemah dan tak tahu apa apa ni. Dan lepas tengok balik semua tu, it wasnt that bad lah. Kot. Lol. 

Jiayou!

Assalamualaikum.

Its been a long time no updates, right? Banyak konflik dalaman sampai tak tau nak tulis apa so senyap je la blog ni.

Aku dah pindah another U, another province. Degree in Chinese Language it is. Hm.

Lagi empat tahun aku akan grad and start another phase of life and I hope it'll be better than now. Actually here's great but the konflik batin of mine is not yet resolved. Hm. 

I'll find out a way out of this konflik as soon as possible and I wont give up. Ameen.

Nak cakap banyak tapi tak reti nak tulis. BM BI semua dah menguap kat laut, so, see you. Wish me the best.

Nostalgia

Semalam pergi SMIH. Yup, SMIH. Sekolahku dulu. Yang penuh perjuangan itu, fortunately I made it to the end kan.

Tak sangka finally I injakkan kaki kat tempat tu lagi. Ha ha.

Memang I takkan pernah lupa sampai bila bila, those two years of mine.

2 years in Malaysia I can survive,
maybe this time I'm gonna survive too, hmm?

haihh like I have choices lah. I have to survive no matter what lah.

malas nak update kat blog lagi satu sebab macam dah ramai orang tahu. haha.

aku rasa selepas aku belajar kat shaoguan ni, baru perasan yang hidupku ni masih category senang. di malaysia dulu pun hidup kawan2 aku macam mudah je semua. mak bapak baik-baik, sekolah elok-elok, etc etc.

dah 3 tahun lebih couple, dah tunang, lagi tiga bulan nak married, then clash, broke up. apa perasaan? tak, aku tak sokong couple, tapi nak imagine perasaan dia macam boleh sikit kot. dah plan nak beli rumah kat mana, nak anak berapa, dah book reception hall, beli wedding gown, dah hantar kad. then tetiba semua hilang macam tu je.

atau, apa perasaan bila sejak kecil ayah tak pernah anggap kehadiran kita? just because kita perempuan. sebab konon lah, anak perempuan tu tak guna (omg it's 2013 please and discrimination still exists?). kat rumah tak pernah berbual dengan ayah, cakap "hye" pun replied with "hye" jugak. tak sedih? mestilah sedih. bila nampak ayah aku call, dia teringat kat ayah dia. jealous, dia kata. bila kat bas nampak ayah peluk anaknya, mata dia dah berkaca-kaca nak nangis. and sering jugak lah malam malam menangis bila tetiba teringatkan ayah dia. sedih.

hah. lebih kurang macam tu lah hidup orang-orang sekitarku sekarang ni. bila tengok diorang punya cerita je, terus rasa hidup aku macam flat. nak compare tu, jauh. diorang memang kuat kan.

tapi Allah memang tahu kan, siapa yang lemah n siapa yang kuat. mungkin sebab tu aku dapat hidup yang senang-senang je. kalau aku dapat cobaan macam kawan kawan aku, ntahlah aku sanggup ke tak.

aku dapat beban hidup macam sekarang ni pun rasanya dah sering sangat complain. fuhh. be strong, everyone!